Last month as we were rushing to finish one of our major projects, our boss Grace called a special meeting . We squeezed ourselves inside her office like a pack of sardines.

Grace started the meeting with an obviously well rehearsed spiel about being a teamplayer. “I repeat, this is an all-or-nothing affair, people. All of us must be present at this out-of-town seminar slash outing. The Human Resource specifically asked us to go. If you don’t want to join, fine. Break your boss’s heart. I just work my butt off to try to convince our CEO that we need this vacation. So if this outing does not push through, I am going to be a very, very angry and a very, very disappointed boss.” We all cringed in fear.

Noel, our data programmer started to speak but before he could open his mouth, Grace cut him off. “I know what you are thinking! You wanted to go but your wife is pregnant! You are being selfish! Everyone is making sacrifices! Everyone must go! So the answer to your unasked question is . . . no.” Then to emphasize her point she glared at Noel until he withered like a prune.

Grace asked officemate Majo to distribute our respective assignments and the sitting arrangement in the van. During the first arrangement the driver was made to sit at the back of the vehicle. A second arrangement was made.

Grace ordered Noel (mumbling to himself) who was assigned to sit beside the driver not to fall asleep during the long drive to Baguio City. (During the trip, Noel didn’t fall asleep but the driver did, so he was very much awake screaming his head off.)

Eva, a single mom, reminded everyone to 'travel light' so that we will have more space in the van. She even proudly declared that she would just carry a purse to the outing and would just borrow things from us. She even tried to dissuade us from bringing the pack lunches because it will take too much space in the van but we told her off. True to her word, on the day of the outing, Eva brought only a small handbag. Later, we noticed Eva perspiring and panting heavily. She was also walking like a huge snowman with her arms outstretched and legs far apart. Upon closer inspection we noticed Eva is wearing all of her clothes. Majo tapped her on the shoulders and asked, “I thought we were traveling light?”

“Am I not? See? No luggage.”