Our office recently moved from a decrepit building to a high rise commercial complex. Sure it looks great but the price of food is killing us. Anyway, here is a day-to-day account of what's happening.

First Day

• Stayed at the old office to monitor hauling of stuff. Didn't do much except count the rats . . . err mice scuttering around. One brushed up on my ankle, and I smashed it with a broomstick. It was wearing a red boxer shorts.

Second day

• Opened all the boxes containing my stuff. Started gluing my Batman action figure on top of my PC monitor. Upon seeing it, everyone called me childish. I put up a tantrum and started throwing things around.


• It stank in our room. It was like being inside a john. I looked outside the door and hey what do you know? It was the toilet!

Third day

• The janitors started pasting used carton boards on the glass windows to preserve the cold air. Our room looked like a bomb shelter.


• First birthday celebration in the new office! It was Michelle's birthday. We bought pizza and put candles on it. We lit them but before Michelle could blow it, the candles triggered the water sprinkler! Soggy pizza anyone?

Fourth Day

• Things were settling down. We were so happy that the pantry was already in working condition! Hurray for running water! We were so happy we washed the dishes five times.


• During the afternoon break we went to the over-priced cafeteria at the ground floor. We guys ogled over the pretty lady cashier. Our lady companions were calling us chauvinist pigs so when a good-looking guy walked by, we ogled him too!

Fifth Day

• One of our vice presidents, Mrs. M, came to visit. She's a stickler about wearing company IDs, but I noticed that she wasn’t wearing one! Why wasn’t she wearing her ID? Is she above the law? Is that the reason she comes to the office late? I wanted to report her to the security personnel but I rather not.


• Visited one of the rooms at the adjacent side. Wait a minute, why is this room bigger? With powerful aircon! Wall-to-wall glass windows with a great view! However some dumb guys installed the communal toilet at the center of the room. So if you're going to the john you must bring a brown bag with eye holes, so that you can go in anonymously.

Last month as we were rushing to finish one of our major projects, our boss Grace called a special meeting . We squeezed ourselves inside her office like a pack of sardines.

Grace started the meeting with an obviously well rehearsed spiel about being a teamplayer. “I repeat, this is an all-or-nothing affair, people. All of us must be present at this out-of-town seminar slash outing. The Human Resource specifically asked us to go. If you don’t want to join, fine. Break your boss’s heart. I just work my butt off to try to convince our CEO that we need this vacation. So if this outing does not push through, I am going to be a very, very angry and a very, very disappointed boss.” We all cringed in fear.

Noel, our data programmer started to speak but before he could open his mouth, Grace cut him off. “I know what you are thinking! You wanted to go but your wife is pregnant! You are being selfish! Everyone is making sacrifices! Everyone must go! So the answer to your unasked question is . . . no.” Then to emphasize her point she glared at Noel until he withered like a prune.

Grace asked officemate Majo to distribute our respective assignments and the sitting arrangement in the van. During the first arrangement the driver was made to sit at the back of the vehicle. A second arrangement was made.

Grace ordered Noel (mumbling to himself) who was assigned to sit beside the driver not to fall asleep during the long drive to Baguio City. (During the trip, Noel didn’t fall asleep but the driver did, so he was very much awake screaming his head off.)

Eva, a single mom, reminded everyone to 'travel light' so that we will have more space in the van. She even proudly declared that she would just carry a purse to the outing and would just borrow things from us. She even tried to dissuade us from bringing the pack lunches because it will take too much space in the van but we told her off. True to her word, on the day of the outing, Eva brought only a small handbag. Later, we noticed Eva perspiring and panting heavily. She was also walking like a huge snowman with her arms outstretched and legs far apart. Upon closer inspection we noticed Eva is wearing all of her clothes. Majo tapped her on the shoulders and asked, “I thought we were traveling light?”

“Am I not? See? No luggage.”